What is LOVE? Love is the best feeling when given freely and purely. The first love we feel is from those who surround us, our parents, grandparents, and family. A parent’s love is deep and unconditional offering support and protection. It’s a powerful bond providing us with a sense of safety and worthiness. Even if someone grew up without biological parents, we have people come into our lives who will show us love. We spend our lives seeking this feeling more than any other. We need it to grow. The more we give love, the more we receive it. So if you aren’t feeling the love, my advice is to give it. What we put into the world, comes back to us.
So why am I talking about the love of a parent? I keep hearing Blanche’s voice (a character from the Golden Girls) in my head when she said “I’m nobody’s little girl anymore”. My Dad, who I think of every day, passed in 2018 and my Mom passed just a few weeks ago. I have the honor of writing and giving the eulogy at my family funerals. I’m often asked where I get the words and where I find the strength to speak. My family gives me all I need because I have lived a life filled with love. I have not always seen it and I have not always embraced it. But I have always had it. The first eulogy I wrote was for my maternal grandfather. I was pregnant with my son, who is now 22 years old. And I felt like I had lost a parent because he had always lived with us. I remember talking to family and friends at the visitation and gathering stories in my head. Then the next day, I remember standing at the pulpit, at St Mary’s of Czestochowa Church, and speaking from the heart. I remember some of the stories I shared. But mostly, I remember the love that was felt and shared by everyone who attended. I wanted to make my parents both proud and give them each a eulogy that would honor them. I wanted to share their eulogies here so that you might feel the gifts of love and life they gave me. I pray you are able to take what I wrote and want to reach out to your family and tell them today how much you love and cherish them. And if you are estranged from someone in your family, don’t wait to let them know you love them. Share memories. Make new memories. And if they are in a situation where boundaries are necessary, you can still reach out and let them know they are thought about and you are praying for them. You never know what help we can be to one another by showing love and an act of kindness. It might make all the difference in the world to them.
Someone very wise once told me, ‘after someone is gone, no matter how bad it was when they were here, the longer they are gone, what remains is the good’. Our minds want to embrace what is good and loved in our world. So why not live your life like this now? Don’t wait until people are gone. Give them a chance. Open your heart to love. Give love, even to those who are lost and not giving it back. This does not mean you need to let them into your inner circle or across boundaries. But you can treat everyone with kindness and how you want to be treated. Again, what we put out into the world matters and comes back to us.
We are here for a short blip. Make it count. Give love. Receive love. Dig deep and give yourself the chance to be all you want to be with the talents you have been given.
Sending each of you love
~Tina
October 30, 2025 was my Mom’s funeral.
When we walked into Adolph Funeral Home this morning, all of the pictures from the WIFE photo board were on the floor. We laughed and said “oh boy, she’s yelling at dad already ” She spent the last few months telling the photo that hangs in her living room, Phil, you’d better be there to help me. I asked her, “where are you going?” She said “nowhere yet, but I think he’s having fun with everyone and going to forget me when it’s time”. I told her “no, he’ll be there waiting for you”. In November we celebrated her – for her 80th birthday with a surprise party. Megan and Kenzie picked her up and had to stall, because if you weren’t an hour early, in her mind you were late. SO they drove her around in circles and she noticed. She was so irritated by the time they arrived. But as soon as she figured out what was going on, she cried and rejoiced. But today we gather to celebrate my Mom. I love my Mom. Anyone who knows us knows my mom and I never had a Hallmark relationship. Often, my Dad would say to me “Yes, I know. But, Tina, that’s your mother” – end of whatever story. I didn’t love my mom because of what my dad said. I loved her because I understood what was in her heart. So I feel blessed to have been able to cherish her more this passed year. Most people will remember her kindness, good heart, and gentle smile. After she met you a few times, you were family. And when you’re family, she didn’t hold back from telling you how she felt; she would speak her truth. She was a master of one liners. She felt deeply, but had a hard time finding the words to express it. With my dad, she was the straight shooter because he was always joking around. I have her voice in my head trying to stop his antics, saying ‘Phil!’ He would stop, turn red with laughter, and give a big smile. Mom would pretend to be upset, shaking her head. She taught us so much about family. I was raised with love and fun. If you look at our photos, you see that… lots of family time, Weber’s bakery, dancing, and baking. Our mom was always the first one on the dance floor and she always got us dancing with her. Every Saturday was chore day, but we also ended every Saturday with a movie and dinner out – a pizza, Novi’s, Tom’s, Browns Chicken, White Fence Farm, etc. (Are you hungry yet?) Every Sunday she would see us off to church and she would start cooking for the week. Then we’d come home and have a big family breakfast. This tradition continued with the grandkids too. Our Mom opened her home to everyone. It was a rare weekend that there wasn’t a family and friends card party, or a kids sleepover. And when the grandkids were born, she couldn’t get enough of having them over. What a blessing to not only watch them grow up, but watch the next generation begin with our little Maci. Family extended beyond blood. She has more than two brothers, three children, and four grandchildren. She considered many as part of her family. Her family brought her pure joy and comfort. When she moved from Berwyn, this past December, she missed her porch and the neighbors. She was in pretty good health, but another fall and her dementias isolated her more. We all embraced her with love and cared for her. She loved to be surrounded by us and would worry about us when we left. So we would call often too, especially to let her know we were okay. I asked my son, Christian, what he was going to miss the most about Busha? He said, ‘her stories and their talks’. Some of the stories that came out cracked us up and we were never quite sure if they were all true. As I was sharing memories with everyone, the reoccurring theme was her stories. Keep those stories alive and share them. Keep talking to each other. Honor our Mom and Dad by remembering family – call each other, see one another, love, live a happy, honest and full life – like they wanted for us. She prayed for everyone every day. She had a written list of those who were sick, those she cared for, and for those she was worried about. And she would pray the rosary every day. I pray that each of you find comfort in knowing she’s at peace. I pray she’s not giving my Dad too hard of a time. And remember you don’t have to say a lot to get your point across. This was a beautiful life. This was tradition. This was family. This was love. This was our Busha, our Mom.
August 2, 2018 was my Dad’s funeral.
Today we celebrate a kind, generous, caring, & strong family man who taught us that we have 11 fingers. I’ve been asking people to share jokes & stories about my Dad. Everyone shared how he loved his family, can’t say a bad word about him, & he loved to joke around. He laughed hard, wasn’t afraid to express himself, or share exactly what he thought. He was passionate about enjoying the simple things in life & always having fun. Even in the hospital, when he was asked how he was feeling, his response was “with his fingers” & as he grew weaker he would still just put his fingers up and smile. His family not only came first, but was his reason for everything that meant anything to him in life. He often said how proud he was of his children and grandchildren. He told me last week that when he was younger he always wanted children and couldn’t be prouder of his family. He was never concerned about trivial matters and let things roll off his back. If it didn’t affect his family, it wasn’t important enough to give it his attention. He worked two jobs to put us kids through school. But he said if he wasn’t having fun, he wouldn’t do it. People from both jobs can attest to the fun he would have. He worked hard and he cherished the friendships he made along the way. He was generous and knew how to give, including being insistent on picking up the check, but he didn’t know how to receive. When he was in the hospital a few days he told me he was surprised by the number of people coming to see him or relaying messages through us to him. He was pleasantly surprised and said it was appreciated but he didn’t know how to handle it. I told him to just accept it and say thank you. He was a giver to anyone who treated his family right but he said he was a stubborn old pollack and it made him uncomfortable. I gave him a kiss and told him he’s never too old to learn, just say thank you and learn how to accept that people can love him back just as intently as he does. He loved to fish and hunt. And when he came home empty-handed, he would tell Mom he was practicing “catch & release” – which was funny when he said that after a hunting trip. He loved people coming to the house to visit. If he liked you, you got to see his fishing and hunting collections. It brought him joy to share his knowledge, his collections, and to set up tackle boxes for the kids. For as long as I could remember, he would host Pinochle and Poker games at the house. It wasn’t about winning. It was about having a fun time with family & the guys. As time & friends past, my brother, his son, and their friends would get together with him to play. People were always invited to spend the night and he loved to make a big breakfast w eggs for everyone. If you planned on leaving before breakfast, he would comment “if you leave before breakfast, then what am I doing cooking in here?” He enjoyed experiencing new food, esp while visiting with family and friends. Nothing gave him more joy than seeing the grandkids, babies, dogs, extended family, & neighbors. He loved to spend time with people. But he had a special place in his heart for babies and dogs. Every kid got $2 bills and Match Box cars. Older kids got advice and told jokes. Dogs came to sit with him and get petted. Smaller dogs couldn’t wait to sit on his stomach pillow. He loved sharing stories & had one-liners at the ready for any occasion.
Such as:
• You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.
• Bite the heads off, suck the guts out, and throw the skins away.
• If you have a handful of great friends, you’re very, very lucky.
• If you want to live forever, you can’t be the good guy all the time because the good die young.
• You’re a fart smeller, I mean smart feller.
• Church or chapel, let it rattle.
• You play, you pay
He would make up words & convince others they were real:
• Fatsamali cheese
• Fromunda cheese
• A buck two fifty
There are many more jokes & stories, some of which should not be said in church. We will miss the twinkle in his eye, his laughter & smile.